TL;DR: Losing a parent changes you forever. So does loving them.

Someone reached out to me today to share their love and support on Father’s Day and mentioned that this day must bring up a lot of feelings.

And yes, it does.

But it also doesn’t.

Because the truth is, when you live with the loss of a parent, grief isn’t reserved for holidays. It isn’t something that appears on Father’s Day and then fades away the next morning. It lives with you every day.

Despite living a full, vibrant, and joyful life, grief remains a constant. It changes shape over time, but it never truly leaves. People often say things get better with time, and in many ways they do. A broken heart heals. The end of a relationship eventually hurts less. But the loss of a life is different.

A loss of life is final.

There is no quick phone call to check in. No surprise visit. No opportunity to reconnect. There is only the permanent reality that someone you love is no longer here.

When I lost my father on March 5, 2025, it was one of the most difficult days of my life.

It was a little after 5:40 p.m. when I noticed a missed call from my mom. There was a voicemail.

“Lizzy, call me… I think… I don’t know…”

I heard it in her voice.

A pain I had feared for so long had finally arrived.

I immediately went into action. I called my neighbors to come watch my little one while we left. Even before I knew what had happened, I felt it. The air seemed heavier. The world felt different.

What still stays with me is that, about an hour earlier, I had felt something.

I remember walking down the hallway when suddenly I felt my body go light, almost as if I might fall. Deep in my stomach, I felt one word:

“Dad.”

I knew before I knew.

To this day, I can’t explain it. Maybe it was coincidence. Maybe it was intuition. Maybe it was something else entirely. But I distinctly remember that feeling, and I often wonder if, somehow, I felt him leave this world before I was told.

As we drove to Monterey Park, where my parents lived, I already knew.

When we arrived, the house was empty.

Tim called my mom, and she told him, “Paul is no longer with us.”

I remember feeling angry that she had told him and not me. Later, that anger dissolved into understanding. Grief looks different for everyone, and there is no right way to navigate the unimaginable.

We arrived at the hospital.

My mom, my uncle, and my cousin were there.

And so was my father.

He lay in a hospital bed, completely still. The warmth and life that had always filled him were gone.

That was how I learned.

That was my confirmation.

Not through words, but through seeing the reality with my own eyes.

The months that followed are somewhat of a blur. At the same time that I was grieving one of the greatest losses of my life, I was also a new mother with a six-month-old baby.

I was experiencing the highest highs and the deepest lows simultaneously.

The contrast was surreal.

I have always known I was strong, but this period taught me something deeper. It showed me the depth of my own capacity for love, compassion, and resilience.

There were days when I could have disappeared into my grief. Instead, I had a little person depending on me to show up every day.

In many ways, my child saved me.

My little one gave me purpose when everything felt shattered. They reminded me that life was still moving forward, that joy still existed, and that I still had so much love to give.

So when people ask whether Father’s Day brings up feelings, the answer is complicated.

It isn’t just today.

It’s every day.

Every day there is a small ache in knowing my dad is no longer on this earth. Every day there is sadness in knowing he will never know my child, and my child will never know him.

That is what grief often is: mourning not only what was lost, but what will never be.

Yet grief has also taught me some of life’s most important lessons.

It has taught me how precious time truly is.

It has taught me how little many of the things we worry about actually matter.

It has taught me to live in the present.

And perhaps most importantly, it has taught me to look for the silver lining, even in the darkest moments.

After my father died, people showed up for me in ways I will never forget.

There were texts and phone calls. Social media messages. Handwritten cards. Care packages. Flowers. Holiday check-ins. Simple reminders that someone was thinking of me.

Those gestures mattered more than the people who sent them will ever know.

They changed me.

They made me more compassionate, more attentive, and more aware of the quiet ways people carry pain.

Losing my father was one of the most painful experiences of my life. Yet somehow, even in his absence, he left me with another gift: a deeper understanding of people and a greater ability to love them through their own losses.

Even now, as I write this, I’m looking west. Dark clouds are gathering across the sky, but the sun continues to break through them.

That feels like grief.

The clouds never fully disappear, but neither does the light.

Over time, I’ve learned that joy and sadness can coexist. Love and loss can live in the same heart. You don’t have to choose one or the other.

So when my friend asked if Father’s Day brings up feelings, my answer is yes—but not because today is different.

It’s because grief walks beside me every day.

Not in a melancholy way. Not in a way that prevents me from living.

Rather, it reminds me to live fully.

I honor my father by embracing the best parts of him and carrying them forward. I honor him by loving deeply, by appreciating the people around me, and by remembering that every day I am here is a gift.

Because it is.

I often think about something my dad used to say every year on his birthday:

“Beats the alternative.”

It hurts knowing I’ll never hear him say those words again.

But I smile every time I think of them.

Because he’s right.

And because a piece of him lives on every time those words cross my mind.

I’ve often thought of losing a parent as a club no one wants to join. It’s a membership I wish on no one, at least not for a very long time.

But now I’m here.

Living with the sadness, the longing, and the love that remains.

Those things are forever woven into the fabric of my life.

Loss has changed me permanently.

But so has love.

And every day, I choose to find the light.

#Grief #LoveAndLoss #HealingJourney #MentalHealth #LifeLessons #Perspective #happyfathersday

2020.

2020, what a wild ride. Am I right?

To talk about where I am I would need to talk about where I’ve been and let me tell you, I’ve been a few places this year. Both emotionally and physically. Because I moved. Many times. So I literally was in many places! Ha.

But let’s start at the beginning. 2020. I started the year alone.

I remember I was at my Culver City home and I wanted to stay up until midnight but my partner at the time was sick and he went to sleep around 8ish. So I was by myself and stayed up alone until midnight.

Which are two strong themes I believed my year would carry. Being surrounded by sickness and being alone, and low and behold how the year turned out. There was a global pandemic and my engagement ended, thus leaving me alone and back into singledom once yet again.

Now the year didnt start with such a strife, no that came with time. The year began with promise. I had finished ironing out the details for a would be wedding set in Italy and was excited over the nuptials to come.

Now you can be excited for something and still nervous about something. Which I was. I wasn’t sure if this was the right decision but I figured it made sense, so it was. Right?

Well, everything went to far and got to a point that I couldn’t back out. I mean how could i? I did all this planning. I loved this person? Right? I wanted to get married?

But really we weren’t compatible. I didn’t trust him. With right reason which I later found out. But more on that later…

I was scared but I was going through the motions and didnt know how to say anything to anyone. I held it all inside. Then the pandemic broke out.

The pandemic changed everything. This pandemic was my way out. It was a way out of this wedding and i was sad but really I was happy I didnt know if this was the right decision. And if youre getting married, shouldnt you 10000% know?

Well, you should. Anyways i didnt. The pandemic postponed the events. The wedding and the bach and that was ok. I was able to take time. I enjoyed this new home we moved into. But the more and more i thought about it and saw it, I realized we were playing a part. We werent a match. We wanted to work but we didnt.

I think about this often. I wonder where exactly things went wrong. It was a joint effort. We both slowly started to give up and the effort wasnt there. Despite believing we were trying, we weren’t. Things fall apart for a reason and I’ll find out my reason soon enough….

I let myself believe that and by the time I knew, we were so far deep.

I wanted to call things off and end things but how?

I ended up self sabotaging. the relationship ended. i moved on .

i moved on to bigger and better things but the same patterns.

i want to be a better version of myself.

2021 is going to be about me focusing on me, and learning me and caring about me.

DOING ME

I spent 2020 in a transitional period. I was learning and growing and it was a painful year.

Overall it was a good year for me for what came from the ash was me, I rose above everything.

But suffice it to say, it was as painful as you could ever imagine. It was a year that started with the intention of one thing and ended up in an entirely different direction. I wasn’t expecting any of that. But really who was expecting a year like 2020? Who would expect a wedding that was completely planned out only to be canceled?

Who would have thought? Not I…. not i….

The year pushed me to grow in ways I didn’t think were even imaginable. It pushed me to stand on my own and to do things for myself. For my pup and for my future. I had to be there, ready or not. This was where I was and I need to be the very best. Granted I am still learning and still maneuvering throughout this wild thing called life, but I am on my way.

So with that sentiment I am grateful for the lessons that 2020 brought me and the reflections it caused me to have.

ONWARD.

On to 2021 and to the future. Looking forward to see what is in store and where this wild ride of life will take me.

31.

Today, I am 31.

I woke up with the rising sun and rode along the Santa Monica Beach. This is a path I take frequently but today the air was just a bit crisper. I rode along the path until I reached a quiet bench and parked my bike. I sat and brought out my notebook that was tucked neatly in my backpack.

This was my only goal for my birthday. I wanted to have a quiet moment of solace to myself. I took this time to write and reflect. To take an inventory of my life and to do a deep dive of introspection.

It was a moment where I let myself slow down and be in the moment. I felt grounded and looked within to where I am.

Today I love my mind, body and soul deeper than ever before. I have grown tremendously and continue to still grow. I am nowhere near perfect and I know that. I have flaws that I’m aware of and striving to improve daily.

I feel at peace in this stage of my life. It’s taken me awhile to get here, but this feeling is a beautiful gift all in it’s own.

Ringing in the next year with a bright effervescent light for the future, an abundance of love, and the joy from all the that makes my heart smile.

I am grateful for today. I am grateful to feel whole. I look forward to the future and where this journey in life takes me next.

Cheers.

Self Love Realization

Simple right?

To say that happiness comes from within, I mean. It sounds simple. It sounds pretty straightforward. But is it?

Warning… this is a different type of love post.

This is a post about self love. Something I haven’t really discussed here before but something that is actually more important than romantic love.

Why?

Reason being is that the relationship we have with ourselves will be the utmost important relationship we will ever have. It will lay down the foundation for how we let others treat us, and how we let them love us. It is the space we create boundaries for what is and isn’t acceptable to our being. We make promises to ourselves about what we better we want and how to acheive this.

Personally, I haven’t been honest with myself for a long time and its taken a lot of deep diving into myself to realize this. I have taken time alone, in solace. Time to reflect, time to absorb and time to release everything I’ve been feeling.

I wasn’t honest with myself for a long time because I forgot my own voice. I was in a relationship with a person who didn’t see or hear me the way I needed. I was in a relationship where it started out on a rocky path, it pursued and eventually became rainbows and butterflies. But eventually those rainbows were exchnaged with long rains, and the butterlies flew away. The dynamic changed and the effort became lost. The people in the relationship became complacent. But this isn’t about my relationship with this person.

This is about the relationship I had with myself. This was a time where I accepted less than i deserved and it was ok. I let it be ok. For whatever reason I let it happen. I wasn’t ok with it but it happened. I let another person talk down to me about my physical appearance, my weight, my smile, about so many things that drove me to a deep insecurity about myself. Looking back i never should have stood for that type of behavior.

If it had been a friend who told me this I would has expressed disgust. But instead I took the verbal abuse and I let these things happen. It became words that became my truth. I let these words grow in me, and make me smaller by the day until eventually I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.

By nature I am a strong, loving and confident individual. But my self love was hit and hurt. My identity was scarred and then the day the spell broke and i was out of that relationship was the day I was set free.

I was free to be myself. To be my best self. To reflect on the pain.

To take the time to reevaluate the words that once buried me down. I was able to dig myself out of that place and like a phoenix I rose. I rose to be better, to do better and overall to be the me i was always meant to be.

Fundametally I am the same person I have always been. But i have polished my habits and softened my corners. I am a bit wiser then I was, and a bit calmer too. I am who i am. Unapologetically authentic.

I love who I am, and one day the right person will love me for that too.

Until then I am going to cherish this delicate relationship, with myself. Foster my inner thoughts and build this love to be as powerful as I know it can be. I am worthy of great things. I am capable of great things.

Here I come….

I’ll have a post about ‘How to self-love..’, be on the lookout!

If you have anything about love or life, ask away!

xoxo

Lizzy

Open Marriages: Non-Monogamy? Non- Matrimonial?

Are these two mutually exclusive or not?

Well, that’s a great question.

Let’s dive in…..

In today’s day and age, relationships have grown to be and mean a multitude of things to a wide array of people.

Today I will be focusing on a specific topic. Something that has increased in popularity and gained rapid traction – ‘Ethically Non-Monogamous’ relationships and ‘open marriages’.

What are ‘ethically non-monogamous’ relationships?

These are relationships that include more than two people. This is a consensual relationship where all parties are aware of the given parameters and engage in the arrangement.

This modern notion of being ‘ethically non monogamous’ has gained traction in recent times for various reasons. Some of which include a way to avoid infertility by welcoming partners openly, a way to find commitment, and of course sexual exploration.

I have seen an increase within the younger generation exploring their sexual boundaries with ENM relationships. I have seen some that work, and some that appear to work well.

I’ll discuss different TYPES of ‘non monogamous’ relationships in another post.

Today’s main focus is to find out if ENM relationships and marriage can be one in the same?

The short answer is YES! 

In short, any relationship can work if you take the time to communicate, set boundaries, and understand the parameters of the relationship. This is the essence for any thriving relationship.

 

If you don’t communicate that you wan’t an open marriage then you’re already off to a bad start. How would you expect to get married? When would you bring this up to your soon to be spouse? At the altar? This is a monumental conversation to have and NEEDS to be done early on in the relationship before you get engaged, least of all married.

 

To be with someone under false pretenses isn’t fair to that person or yourself ultimately. You are essentially lying to them to stay with them and what’s the point in that? Be honest with yourself and be honest with them. If this is something that is non negotiable to you, then own it! Don’t beat around the bush. Let your needs and wants be known. In the end it’s better for you and better for you partner and can save you time wasted on a future you think you may want, but you really don’t.

After you communicate with your partner ‘ I want an open marriage’ what is their response? This is the only thing that matters.

If they are all for it and in, then great you will get what you want and can move forward in getting married!

Are they apprehensive? Perhaps they weren’t expecting their ‘forever’ to be paired with a non traditional ‘ open’ option. This is valid. Give them time to sort out their feelings about the situation and try to be as helpful in the process as possible. Be prepared after they sort through their feelings, their response may not be one you want to hear. Either way it’s their choice and you need to let them have their voice. They may leave you, and if they do – it’s for the best. You aren’t in alignment.

Are they adamantly against it? Well, there you go.

“What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?”

They surrender. Meaning if your partner is against the prospect of an open marriage then you understand their views, and know that this relationship isn’t for you and will not serve you in the way you want. If you’re ultimate goal is to be in an open marriage, this will never be what you want. Sure, people can of course change their views – but if the ‘you’ now wants this, honor that person and honor your partner. Let them go.

Don’t stay in a relationship when you want something so fundamentally different.

Once you have both reached a point where you agree on an open marriage, then take the time to sort out the details. Meaning the parameters. What does it mean to you both? Is that vision in alignment? What types of outside connections are you looking for – long term secondary relationships? or more short term ‘comet-esque’ relationships? Are these purely physical? Is there an emotional aspect?

All these questions and more will need to be answered between you and your partner to  mutually agree on before you can move forward.

 

Open relationships are possible and just like any other relationship they take time and deep communications. Keep in mind as relationships change these mutually agreed upon arrangements could change. You or your partner may find this style is no longer fitting you and may opt for a change. Be aware this is a possibility. Be open to change if that is what you want, but remember to always be honest to yourself first and foremost.

You cannot make another person happy by sacrificing your own happiness.

 

Honesty is key.

 

Have an experience to share? Add in the comments!

 

 

xoxo

Lizzy

 

Red Flags – how to spot them and what to do when you do…

Red Flags are as apparent as a red wine stain on a white carpet.

You can’t help to notice it, but still you may avoid it’s existence.

First off, you may be wondering what a ‘red flag’ is? Well, of course this term can have different meanings for people but basically it means a sign in your head flashing bright red that’s saying ‘mayday mayday back uppppppppppppp’. It’s your intuition spotting something that’s fishy.

The thing about your intuition is that it’s usually spot on. The older I’ve gotten the more I am able to listen to tell my body tell me what is good. and what isn’t Ultimately you know, but if you listen is a whole different story.

How to spot a red flag?

Intuition plays an important role because that will give you the nudge you will need.

But really you want to make sure you are completely honest with yourself before engaging in a romantic relationship with someone. Meaning before you jump into being a couple make sure you know your ‘deal breakers’. Knowing what you will and won’t put up within a relationship is crucial because if you don’t set those standards before a relationship, then what are you going to fall back on in the relationship? How will you know what you stand for if you never put that list into action?

Common ‘deal breakers’ include:

-lack of personality
-impolite
-inflexible
-smoking
-substance abuse/ addiction
-bad with money

and of course the most common ones – cheating, lying, abusive behavior.

Once you have composed a list of those ‘deal breakers’ your intuition can go to work to spot any possible ‘red flags’.

I find these ‘red flags’ so interesting because it’s like you’re taking an open book test. You have all the answers, you just need to look for them.

I had an experience where I was with someone for two years and then they approached me with an interesting question. They proposed an open relationship, which is completely fine for other but I am a strict believer in monogamy and felt that contradicted my beliefs. My core beliefs. This is and always has been a non-negotiable. Now you see, for me this was the most apparent ‘red flag’ i could have been given, but did i pay attention? Nope!

At first I wanted to break up because the request was so outlandish and insulting to my beliefs but this person manipulated me by saying ‘ i thought we could be honest with each other and i wanted to be honest with you, if you don’t want this, that’s fine’.

 

I fell for the manipulation and stayed much longer in the relationship then i should have. Only to later find out that his ultimate goal was to get back to the prospect of having an open relationship. The red flag was there and in my face, but i chose to close my eyes and didn’t pay attention.

 

That was a life lesson for myself to learn.

 

 

My recommendation for others would be listen to the ‘red flags’. 

 

There is a reason we have intuition and ‘red flags’. They are the bodies way of protecting us and guiding us.

 

Something I found very interesting was after my own experience I told a close client that the relationship has ended and her response shocked me. She immediately said “red flags!” and i looked at her puzzled and nodded.

She proceeded to tell me about how she had the same feelings with her now ex-husband. She had these feelings and the ‘red flag’ but still went through with it and got married. She married the man, loved him and they had two daughters together. But when you think someone can change, they won’t. Those ‘red flags’ got bigger and brighter and eventually guided them to divorce. She was happy for me to have made the realization now rather than later. Her response was so genuine and special, because she got it. She was once there but took a different turn at the fork in the road.

It was as if the ghost of future relationships can to speak with me about how i dodged a bullet with this relationship. I may have wanted it to work, but wanting some to fit and something fitting are two different things. Listen to your heart and listen to your intuition. They will guide you to love and your forever person (if that’s what you’re looking for.)

 

Have an experience to share? Leave it in the comments! 🙂

 

 

xoxo

Lizzy

 

How to deal with LIARS & what it really means…

Why lie? Why not be honest?

Simple right?

Well, not that simple for many people and here’s why.

I think everyone has some capacity for their lies, whether that be little white lies or incredibly huge life changing lies.

I think what sets the gauge for a persons lie-meter is their integrity level.

People who are honest with themselves typically have a higher integrity level, and live life with honor.

Integrity can be linked to people who have had more life experiences that have pushed them to grow and be in an emotionally state where they have level.

Then you have others who aren’t honest with themselves and for whatever reason they lie to themselves and to those around them.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

People will always lie, but it’s your reaction to the lie that’s key. I’ll touch on this later in the post.

1. Try to dissect what the lie is, if you can ask the person – ask them. 

If not let’s think about and really get to the bottom of it.

People life for so many reasons. But the main one is people are afraid to be honest with themselves and with others. People fear vulnerability. They fear honesty and intimacy.

2. When someone lies to you – how did you find out? Did they eventually come clean or did you catch them in the life? 

This is important to ask because if this is a lie that they told you. While lying is never good, but this is the better one to have. They made a mistake and eventually came clean. So they have some semblance of respect for you.

If you caught them in the lie then it’s not good! This opens up a whole new can of worms. Now everything is in question, how often has this person been lying to you? Everything needs to be reexamined and questioned. But really that’s a waste of time and energy. This person doesn’t value you enough to give you the truth so let’s just cut ties and move on. Of course you will know best.

3. Your reaction to the lie….

My best advice is always to calm down before starting a discussion. If you’re angry go write it out. Put your feelings into words and the words onto paper. This will help you explore your feelings and better understand why you feel the way you do.

Also this is helpful for when you do have that ‘talk’ and your’e prepared because you have it all written down. So need to worry about forgetting an important piece.

After you have done that and you’re ready to speak in person. Approach the person in a safe zone to talk. Express your feelings. Don’t blame anything or anyone, and focus on ‘I’ statements. Such as “I was hurt to read the email you sent because xyz” The focus of this is to get down to business. Get down to the nitty gritty emotions and get this person to open up to you. When they do don’t attack, just listen.

Not only will this be helpful for the relationship, but it’s helpful for you as a PERSON. This will help you grow and mature with other conflicts in your life.

4. Deal breaker?

Unfortunately I can’t answer this question for you. This is all on you and your situation. Everyone has a different experience that would shape this outcome.

Personally I have been in a situation where I was lied to and it was terrible and someone may say sorry but a lie is a lie is a lie. People lie and those people don’t change.

THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM.

I can’t stress that enough! I spent so much of my time in a situation where I didn’t believe someone and they had told me who they were. You need to listen to that. You need to be honest with yourself.

If something doesn’t feel right, it’s because it’s not. Move on and move forward.

 

“We accept the love we think we deserve”

if you’re allowing someone to lie to you. You are accepting this flawed behavior.

You deserve more and better than this. You are honorable and strong!

Hold your head high and walk away with dignity and confidence.

 

 

Share your own experiences in the comments!

Let me know any questions.

 

xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why stay in a relationship that isn’t serving you?

Why do we put our worth into the hands of another person?

I mean, I know I’m guilty of this and have felt this.

My worth has become contingent on the value i was given in a relationship. A relationship that no longer served me. A relationship that actually drained me.

But why stay in a relationship that isn’t serving you?

Fear of being alone? Fear of dating? Comfort level?

There’s a myriad of options to why.

 

I think the longer a relationship lasts the harder it is to end things.

For me, I was with someone for five and a half years and we were engaged. This was commitment. We were supposed to get married and had it not been for COVID we would have.

I believe everything happens for a reason. Things ebb and flow in the way they are supposed to.

If you’re having doubts about getting married, listen to them.

You ultimately know the best and you need to listen to yourself.

I believe the best thing I have learned from this experience is to be honest with myself.

Which I always should have been from the get go but I think sometimes when you have been in a relationship for so long you think that it’ll get better.

But when things are fundamentally wrong you need to listen. The little voice inside your heart knows and will guide you into the right direction.

When something doesn’t fit, you need to honor that and move on.

---

Have an experience to share?

Add it in the comments!

 

xoxo

How To: Moving on….

 

Relationships are a blissful part of life, but just as they come, they do end…..

Meaning break-ups are inevitable. They happen to the best, and the worst of us. Sometimes you’re the one breaking up, sometimes you’re the one being broken up with. Either way it isn’t easy. Regardless of which role you play, you still invested time, energy, and emotion into this person so it’s bound to hurt. We’re human, and emotion is our kryptonite  So here are a few tips how to move on, and ease the pain of a break up.

1. Is it really over?

I ask this because our generation is so consumed with convenience. Meaning someone will breakup with someone on a whim, or for a ridiculous reason only to reconcile shortly after. If this is the case, and you are in a repeat offense “break-up/make-up” relationship, think….. Is this really what you want? If someone can break up with you so easily, and so quickly, how important are you really to them? They should value you, and do their best not to lose to. Not the opposite. This goes the same if you are the one doing the breaking up. Ask yourself if this is relationship you really want to be in. Reminder: This isn’t high school, and games are for children. Relationships are a serious matter, and you can’t just treat them like an option, if you’re in it, be all or nothing because when it comes down to it wouldn’t you expect the same out of someone your with?

2. Ok. It really is over. You both decided to part ways. “It’s for the best.” or “We can still be friends” are common phrases you’ll be hearing at this point (or saying depending on the role you’re in). No. You cannot be friends. At least not now. Cut ties, completely. You just spent however long in a committed relationship with this person, there is no way in hell you can be ‘just friends’ with them. This is where a lot of people get fuzzy on their boundaries  leading them into a “friends with benefits” relationship with their ex, and this is not healthy for anyone. It is confusing to both parties, and will lead to more pain than necessary. At first you will think, “This is awesome! I can still do what I want, AND I can hook up with “insert name here” ” But shortly after, that joy will soon turn into a worry/  panic if you will. Since you are so accustomed in being in a relationship with said person, those natural feelings will come back leading you to ask questions, which to be quite honest, are none of your business. Questions including: “Are you dating anyone? Who are you texting?  Who was on the phone?” These questions will come out of your mouth like you don’t even know, and the curiosity will eat away at you. This is why it’s best to sever ties at all costs. For awhile at minimum. Also, this distance isn’t only for you, but for your ex, because maybe they’re confused. Maybe it’s easy for you to play the “friends with benefits role” but maybe to them they will over think the situation, and think possible reconciliation  You need to be considerate as it’s not only your heart on the line, but another.  Someone whom you once felt deeply for, so give them that respect.

3. Cutting ties? Yes! Now you got. CUT ALL TIES. Block phone numbers, block social networking, and most of all do not talk to said person. To ease this action remove everything you have that reminds you of them. Every little knick knack, from cards to photographs. Everything must go! In a box….. away from you. This time is healing time for you, break ups take a lot out of you. You once had so much time and energy dedicated solely to one person, take this time to refocus your energy on the main person in your life YOU!  Which leads us into step 4….

4.  YOU ARE SINGLE! Don’t be sad. I know it hurts, but you need to focus on everything else you have going on in your life…work, school, family, friends, health even. Focus on the positive. Don’t let over thinking a situation change it into something it’s not. At this point a lot of people will miss the person, when you get to this point think, do you miss the person? Or do you just miss the company….. Think about all the reasons you aren’t together. Let this reminder keep you positive, and away.

5. Lastly, it’s not the end of the world! Look at you, making it to step 5! You will be ok! Just remind yourself, YOU ARE STRONG. You were just fine before this person, and you will be just fine long after. Your happiness isn’t determined by anyone but yourself. So go ahead, laugh, sing, dance. Enjoy your life! Be happy, you deserve it.

A few tips to move on…. Hope this helps, break ups aren’t easy!

Remember, wallowing won’t help. Seek friends, and family to keep you occupied and to cheer you up! Embody your inner Mariah ‘I’m a BOSS’ Attitude 😉

More will soon come to follow!!

#breakups #mariahcarey #boss #shakeitoff #relationships

Please tell me what you think and comment.

xoxo

your love guru lizz

How to….LOVE You

You are your first priority, over anyone. Before you can completely connect or be with someone romantically you must first completely devote you… to yourself. Become your own best friend. Become your own confident. Become brutally honest with yourself. Become harsh to tears. Become jovial, and pleased. Be you to yourself. Don’t be shy or timid. Don’t be afraid to be who you are to yourself. There is never a wrong way to be yourself. But the trick is once you are you, and you are comfortable with being that person, then you allow yourself to be seen fully. By others, by possible suitors, by those who may want to know the ‘real you’. This is why this step is so important, this is how you know someone truly wants you for you, and not something trivial. You are the most important part of this.

YOU

Y-O-U

You cant fully be loved, or love someone until you love yourself first and foremost.

More will soon come to follow!!!

Please tell me what you think and comment.

xoxo

your love guru lizz